The official word is in, although incomplete. My final appeal to immigration has been denied, so I will be going home within a foreseeable time. Not sure yet how much time I will get on my final waiver, or if I will even get a final waiver, so I could be leaving anytime between next Sunday and 3 months from now. I'm kind of hoping for the 3 months so that I have some time to say my goodbyes. :)
I've been waiting for so long for an answer, that it's kind of strange finally having one. It comes with greatly mixed feelings. I'd thought through both scenarios previously, and was honestly excited about either one - visa granted and being able to stay here for a couple more years, or visa denied and going home to PA. When the word came that it had been denied, I was honestly surprised at the sadness I was feeling.
I'm relieved that I finally know. FINALLY. This has been over two years in process and I'm glad that the trips to immigration and waiting in queue is soon behind me.
I'm very, very sad to be leaving my Africa. It has a way of reaching down and planting roots in your heart. It's more than just the place - it's the people. It's the culture I've come to know, the language I'm struggling with learning, the customs I'm just becoming accustomed to. The people I love and who love me. The land, the animals, the scent, the whole experience of Africa. It makes me so very, very sad to think I'm leaving it behind.
I'm sad to be leaving my parents. I know that may be a strange thing for a 27 year-old daughter to be saying, but it really is true. We came here together on this great adventure and we've grown together so much. Closing this chapter of life is heartbreaking.
As hard as it is, as much as it may break my heart, I wouldn't trade the last two years for anything. God has grown me and shaped me through all of this... I can't even imagine myself without this time in Africa.
Even through the hardness, there is excitement.
I'm going home! Home to Pennsylvania and things that I miss. People there that I love and who love me that I've hardly seen in the last two years. My beautiful PA where there are four distinct seasons and SNOW! There's excitement at spending a proper winter in the US and not in the sweltering Botswana heat. There's gladness at the thought of being back in my home church and involved there again. My heart misses it so.
There's anticipation at the next step in life - so many things to be decided and thought out as far as job, housing, etc. Many, many things.
I'm so thankful that God has it all in control, and I am very glad that now I know. Just one more trip to Gabs to find out how much time I have to work with and then I can start taking some steps toward home. God knew about this all along and has been preparing me for it. So thankful that He's had it all worked out since the beginning - I'm enjoying just being along for the ride. :)