Post Valentine's Day

I wrote this the day after Valentine's Day, and almost thought about not posting it. But I think it might be an encouragement to some of you. It doesn't really matter if we are single or married, it doesn't really matter if we are old or young - are you following and doing God's will? He has a plan for you, He has a purpose for you, He has a job for you to do TODAY. Are you living it?

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Every year, I find myself thinking the same thing. “I just feel like by this time next year everything will be different. By this time next year, I’ll know who I’m going to marry and the plans of my life will drastically change.” And every year, the plans of my life drastically change, but here I am, still single and absolutely no idea who I will marry.

So I was wondering last night, which happened to be Valentine’s Day – how would my life have been different over the last seven years if instead of being sure that marriage was coming before the next love holiday, I was just living as if I would be single for those seven years? Would I have lived my life differently? 

And I came to the conclusion that no, for the most part, I wouldn't have changed anything about these last seven years, had I known then what I know now. Of course, there are some small decisions that I regret. There are some days I wish I could erase, some pity parties I wish I could remove from the records, a lot of wasted time spent on frivolous things that I don’t even remember now. But the big decisions of my life – the decision to continue my education, the decision to work for my church, the decisions to travel and help missionaries, the decision to stay single thus far, the decisions to save money and invest money in worthy goals rather than an apartment and car, the decision to move halfway around the world with my family without a ‘man in sight’ – none of these big decisions do I regret, and none of these decisions do I think I would have done differently had I known, at the tender age of 18, that I would still be single on my 26^th birthday.

It’s a nice feeling, knowing that I have lived my life thus far without regrets, and the glory for that is not in my great decision-making skills, but in the protection of God! I can imagine if I had stayed home, forgone school and just twiddled my thumbs waiting for my Prince Charming, I would be a little disillusioned by now and be regretting those choices. But instead I got out there and did something. I was busy, I was productive, and I thank the Lord that He was able to use me in small part in some amazing ministries. I’ve made a lot of friends around the world and I’ve seen a lot of interesting things along the way, but those are just the frosting on the cake. The sweet, sweet cake is that God had and still has a plan for my life. Some people are sad that it isn’t laid out in one fell swoop, but I’m glad that He reveals it only one step at a time. Sometimes, even the next step seems a little bit hazy, but that just adds to the suspense of how He will lead. My next step is looking a little blurry right now, so I’ll be ecstatic to see how He works everything out. :)

To all the single girls out there, especially to the younger ones fresh out of high school, this is my advice. Don't put yourself in someone else's box. There are a lot of books out there that tell single girls how they should be living. But just like any other area of life, it is not a one-size-fits-all will of God. Of course, there are some things that are clearly defined by Scripture that every Christian should be doing. But in other areas of life - where you go to school and for how long, where you live, how you support yourself or whether you are dependent on others - all these areas must be decided by you. Don't be overwhelmed by it all; just do the next thing that God wants you to do. And that is the most important thing I think I can tell you - every day, ask yourself this question: What does God want me to do TODAY? I pray that in seven years, whether you be single or married, you can also look back and see the hand of God leading you every step of the way!