God works in mysterious ways...

...Who can tell where this journey will end?

From January 10, 2010:

Tonight is the last night in this house. I stand by the gate, breathing in the cyad-scented air heavy with the thought of rain. Behind me I hear laughs and talk, evidence of brothers who love deeply, even when the miles between force silence. I wouldn’t trade this moment for anything... yet still my mind flits to home – that one place I’ve consistently called home since my second year of life. I imagine myself there – walking in the dark, wrapped in the night breeze, waiting for the family to come home.

Tonight is the last night in this room. I lay here on my borrowed bed, quietly clicking my keyboard, while a little darling sleeps next to me. Her rosebud lips parted ever so slightly, hair pushed back from her forehead – perfectly content and secure. I will miss her little talks and her silly mannerisms. By leaving her and the two little guys in the next room, I go back to others who I now miss. It’s all very confusing and heart-wrenching – always missing and loving and wanting to be somewhere else while not wanting to leave where you are.

Tomorrow we finish the packing. We load up the van, squeezing little people between us and bags under all the seats. Then we roll our way to the airport, with stops of pleasure along the way, but always with the knowledge that this is the final trip... the last leg. We are headed to the airport and once there, who knows when we will be back.

This country, this continent, has taken root in my heart. It is more than just the family, more than just the baby arms around my neck. It is the call of the animals in the night, the stillness of the dry season, the barren land with stark contrast of lush growth, the people with their guarded eyes and deep laughter. It’s made a hole in my heart, burrowing deep and sending its spider roots through every part of my life. Everything is about Africa. I can’t help but speak of it, think of it... who can’t understand the hold it has?

So much is undecided. We are coming back, but something inside almost holds me back from making plans. Does God have other plans for me? Will I be back someday? Will I ever be in my beloved Africa again?

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And here on March the 10th, a mere 3 months later, I am nothing if not more confused about what the next step is. But this I do know - God is working and if I just hold on, I'm in for the ride of my life. :) 

There are changes afoot, folks... pleasant, breath-taking, life-altering changes.